All Hallow's Eve

"well any time, any place, anywhere that I go

all the people seem to stop and stare

they say 'why are you dressed like it's halloween?

you look so absurd, you look so obscene'"

- Ministry

Confession... I used to be a Goth. Not a full on pale make-up wearing Goth (I did the dark lipstick thing), but I did the fashion. I've always had a penchant for dark colors. Jewel tones, I call them. Royal purple, deep burgundy, sapphire blue, emerald green are all beautiful to me. Even my bedroom growing up was painted navy blue, almost a midnight blue. It was very cave like when I closed the door and I always kept the shades down. But my absolute favorite color is black.

From the time I was old enough to pick out my own clothes I gravitated toward black. In the 80's when everyone was doing the neon thing, I purchased black. What few colors I had in my wardrobe then were gifts from family (mostly my mom trying to counteract I'm sure). My friends knew what color to buy me. So when I finally made it to college, black was it. The only colors I wore were my team uniform - a dreaded crimson and gold. (In high school our colors were black and white, so I was cool.) My sophomore year one of my roommates was from Canada and she was punk. That was the clincher. I just crossed completely over. I did some punk for awhile but then I just pretty much went Goth. Lace, leather, suede, - flowing, draping, silhouette creating styles with cross jewelry accents.

Still today my wardrobe is 95% black (the rest breaks down 2% white, 1% grey, 1% other jewel tones, 1% colors - all pajamas). Yes, I even wear black in the summer. My plethora of shoes? 99% black. I think black is powerful, mysterious, and sexy. When I do wear other colors it's just to emphasize the darkness. My friends have started calling me Morpheus.

Even my bedroom is black and cream. When I feel a little giddy I'll put on burgundy or purple bed sheets. My office furniture is black and glass. My kitchen has all black accents. However, my living room is a combination of cream and chocolate. (I just recently got into that for some weird reason.) I wanted a black car when I purchased a new one a year ago, but alas, they didn't have one in stock. So I got... A deep burgundy one. With black interior. My favorite team is the Raiders - the black and silver, babee! (Which is hell-a hard living in Denver!)

Now some people have tried to read all kinds of things into my fetish.

"You must be depressed."

"Why are you trying to hide?"

"Do you want to blend in? Disappear?"

"Are you trying not to be noticed?"

Hmmmm... haven't you heard? Good [guys] wear black.