Guest Appearance III
So here's another artist who's work I admire and respect. I knew I wanted to post something in my [blog] world by her but I was having a difficult time choosing. That is until I read this. I hope you enjoy. This, ladies and gentlemen, is nimah_soul.
P.S. Oh, and by the way I didn't misprint. I know this is Guest Appearance III and you haven't seen Guest Appearance II. But I'm still in negotiations with that artist. If we're blessed he'll acquiesce and share his genius with us.
Guilty-
Driving towards a 3 way intersection unsure of which road to take. Knowing I'll have to leave 2 behind no matter which turn I make. I'm anxious to let go but my mind is so fucked up, and my body says no. My heart is a whirlwind of confusion , my desires constantly scream out for attention. I just don't know who, what, where or when..but then again, how could I even begin, to choose.
I'm guilty of falling for him regardless of his situation. I knew he couldn't touch me when I needed to be touched. I knew he couldn't hold me at times I needed to be held so much. I knew he couldn't hold me down and be my crutch. He couldn't because he was too dependent on me. He needed me to be his woman until he was set free. And even then he needed me to help him on his feet. He needed to give me all the things he'd promised me. He needed to feel like a man. This man needed me...and I gave him everything. But now I'm guilty of accepting his ring...
...knowing that I'd fallen in love with man number 2.
This man was like a new found religion. He gave me stability, security, leadership and a vision. I wanted his knowledge and his intensity, I wanted his ambition and diversity. I desired his spirit inside of me. I loved everything about him as he did everything about me. And it was so good. But I went into it with deception and contradiction, my intentions misunderstood. I knew that what we had was harmonic, yet had no rhythm or rhyme. I knew it was a temporary flame that would be blown out over time. I knew this man could never be mine. But all he knew was that he loved me unconditionally. He tried to teach me the meaning of having options, and why an option he would never be. The deeper I fell, the harder it became to pull myself out. I am guilty of acknowledging my love for him, yet being so consumed with doubt...
...then I'm guilty of falling for man number 3.
A past love resurfacing, haunting me until I gave in. A man with many faces, begging me to believe in him. And of course I did. He was like candy and I was like a kid. I held on tight, embracing his newness. I enjoyed the familiarity and his boldness. I loved being with a man I could possess. The way he cared for me, the way he made love to me, almost made me forget he was man number 3. Almost made me forget it was all he'd ever be. And as I fought for this thing as much as I could, I felt the noose tighten around my neck. I struggled to use him up and pull him as close as he could possibly get. But even in suffocating I realized that I was guilty of killing a friendship. But now it's too late because in reality... after the pain and heartbreak this man would never be a friend to me.
...so I am guilty of putting 3 men in compromising positions. I am guilty of giving myself to each one under unforgivable conditions. But even more than that, I'm guilty of not trusting myself enough to make responsible decisions. Still I continue to drive through this fog of ignorance, blindly and unknowing of what awaits me in the distance.
By Nimah_Soul
P.S. Oh, and by the way I didn't misprint. I know this is Guest Appearance III and you haven't seen Guest Appearance II. But I'm still in negotiations with that artist. If we're blessed he'll acquiesce and share his genius with us.
Guilty-
Driving towards a 3 way intersection unsure of which road to take. Knowing I'll have to leave 2 behind no matter which turn I make. I'm anxious to let go but my mind is so fucked up, and my body says no. My heart is a whirlwind of confusion , my desires constantly scream out for attention. I just don't know who, what, where or when..but then again, how could I even begin, to choose.
I'm guilty of falling for him regardless of his situation. I knew he couldn't touch me when I needed to be touched. I knew he couldn't hold me at times I needed to be held so much. I knew he couldn't hold me down and be my crutch. He couldn't because he was too dependent on me. He needed me to be his woman until he was set free. And even then he needed me to help him on his feet. He needed to give me all the things he'd promised me. He needed to feel like a man. This man needed me...and I gave him everything. But now I'm guilty of accepting his ring...
...knowing that I'd fallen in love with man number 2.
This man was like a new found religion. He gave me stability, security, leadership and a vision. I wanted his knowledge and his intensity, I wanted his ambition and diversity. I desired his spirit inside of me. I loved everything about him as he did everything about me. And it was so good. But I went into it with deception and contradiction, my intentions misunderstood. I knew that what we had was harmonic, yet had no rhythm or rhyme. I knew it was a temporary flame that would be blown out over time. I knew this man could never be mine. But all he knew was that he loved me unconditionally. He tried to teach me the meaning of having options, and why an option he would never be. The deeper I fell, the harder it became to pull myself out. I am guilty of acknowledging my love for him, yet being so consumed with doubt...
...then I'm guilty of falling for man number 3.
A past love resurfacing, haunting me until I gave in. A man with many faces, begging me to believe in him. And of course I did. He was like candy and I was like a kid. I held on tight, embracing his newness. I enjoyed the familiarity and his boldness. I loved being with a man I could possess. The way he cared for me, the way he made love to me, almost made me forget he was man number 3. Almost made me forget it was all he'd ever be. And as I fought for this thing as much as I could, I felt the noose tighten around my neck. I struggled to use him up and pull him as close as he could possibly get. But even in suffocating I realized that I was guilty of killing a friendship. But now it's too late because in reality... after the pain and heartbreak this man would never be a friend to me.
...so I am guilty of putting 3 men in compromising positions. I am guilty of giving myself to each one under unforgivable conditions. But even more than that, I'm guilty of not trusting myself enough to make responsible decisions. Still I continue to drive through this fog of ignorance, blindly and unknowing of what awaits me in the distance.
By Nimah_Soul
Now that was deep. I got some ish going on but not that heavy but at the same time similar. She was on point with that piece. All I can say is whoa.
Posted by
NameLiar |
1:38 PM, September 01, 2005