Friday, March 17, 2006 

Risk Taking

"Letting go of all the ones that hurt me
'Cause they never deserved me
Saying 'No' to the thoughts that try to control me
Remembering all you told me"
- Kirk Franklin


Really Living Requires Really Risking
Steve Arterburn, New Life Ministries

I'm convinced that life without risk isn't much of a life. I've known young men who inherited a lot of money, and had all the comforts and securities you could possibly ask for. They had it all, but they lived with no fire in their bellies because there was nothing to burn. Their lives were risk free, and amidst the predictability and comfort that lifestyle bred, they missed becoming the men they could've been. We must give up the chains of predictability and the womb of comfort, and we must jump out there and risk if we're to truly live.

Risk is a choice to heal because it stretches the emotional scar tissue that's so beneficial after an initial wound, but that threatens to restrict and restrain if not rehabilitated. Just like a burn patient must painfully move scarred limbs to stretch damaged skin, so we must also stretch our souls. Risk is the means by which we do that stretching.

Risk Within Limits

It's important to understand the difference between reasonable and unreasonable risk. Sometimes we equate all risk with unreasonable risk and it's not true. No one is asking you to go out on a rotten limb, but rather to pick a strong one and get out on it. If you catastrophize every risk, you'll never take the ones that are reasonable.

Only you can set the limits between reasonable and unreasonable risk. You might not have set limits and boundaries in the past, and if you have a hard time with risk, that may be one of the reasons why. But a life of reasonable risk could help you find and live the life you've been looking for.

Reasons To Risk

There may be many excuses you've used to play it safe. They've worked well for you in your goal to avoid risk, but they haven't worked well for you in living a great life. To live a great life you must have risk. You cannot love unless you risk. You cannot even care about someone unless you risk, because there's always a chance you'll be rejected when you put yourself out there. You cannot connect without risk. Loving, caring, and connecting--the vital elements of life that give it meaning and purpose are great reasons to risk.

You can't serve without risk either. But when you serve, you serve Christ. You do to Christ what you do for another. And He's worth risking for, even if all you get from it is rejection. When you serve and aren't loved for it, you share in the sufferings of Jesus. You fellowship with Christ through your rejection, since almost all His life was filled with rejection. That fellowship with Christ is a powerful healer that can't be experienced unless you're willing to take some risks. You simply can't make your world small enough to be risk free.

The Healing Power Of Risk

Risk is a healer. It demands faith and trust. It eliminates a lifestyle of self-preservation, because self-preservation ignores the power of God. You can't allow yourself to be healed if you're trying to protect yourself from what cannot be prevented--trials and sorrows. You're going to have them, and when you take a risk and move into them under God's power rather than try to defend against them under your own power, you're making the choice to heal.

The great preacher Charles Haddon Spurgeon said, "Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows but only empties today of its strength." You can't lead a healed life in anxiety. It'll rob you of the strength you need today. It'll steal the tomorrow you were meant to enjoy. The answer for those who need healing from a risk-adverse life is found in 1 Peter 5:7: "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." Do that right now. You can trust that God cares for you. It's worth the risk to give God all your fears, and embark upon a future of healing and excited anticipation about what might be around the next turn.

The Big Lie

The lie that you must protect yourself from any more pain is a really big one. If you've tried to live your life that way, I have a question for you. How's it going so far? Don't be an irresponsible steward of what God has given you by taking unreasonable risks; but by all means, don't allow fears and hardships to keep you from moving forward.

You're going to be hurt and you can't do anything to prevent it, but you can trust God each time a hurt comes along. Trust that while you don't have the power to protect yourself, He has the power to turn every hurt into something that improves you and glorifies Him. You'll never protect yourself from all the hurt, but you'll protect yourself from missing the life God intended when you make the choice to risk.

Healing is a choice. It's God's choice, but many times we stand in the way of what God wants for us. There isn't a choice more difficult than the choice to risk. My hat is off to all of you who'll make that choice today. May the blessings of God be upon you for your amazing courage.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The above piece is an adaptation from Healing Is A Choice: Ten Decisions That Will Transform Your Life & Ten Lies That Can Prevent You From Making Them, by Steve Arterburn. Nashville: Nelson Books, 2005. Stephen Arterburn is the founder of New Life Clinics, the largest provider of Christian counseling and treatment in North America. As host of the daily New Life Live! radio program, he is heard nationally on over one hundred and eighty stations and at www.newlife.com. Steve is the creator of the Women of Faith(r) Conferences and is the author/coauthor of over thirty books, including Healing is a Choice, Lose it For Life, The God of Second Chances, Every Man's Battle, and Avoiding Mr. Wrong.

Thursday, March 02, 2006 

How can I forget?

Mea culpa
Kyrie eleison
Christe eleison
Je suis la et ailleurs
Je n'ai plus rien
Je deviens folle
Je m'abondonne
Mea culpa
- Enigma


Things are not well with my soul. Last night was a hard night. For the first time in a long time, maybe even ever, I couldn't pray. I couldn't see my way to God. I felt bereft. I felt lost. I felt empty.

I have felt lonely for some time now. I have craved companionship, fellowship with a special man. I desire to be part of a family; wife and mother. I want to be able to listen, talk, share all of me with one person instead of parts of me with different people. I love my friends, family, but even with all their love and support there is still an emptiness that isn't touched.

I want to fully commit myself to a man who is fully committed to me. I want a best friend, lover, confidante, supporter, protector, nurturer who will accept no less from me. I want to be covered while I give shelter from the world. I want my own Warrior King beside me as we do God's will (to the best of our ability). I long for this. If I am truthful, I thought I had found it.

Last night as I talked to him, I was trying to share my fears, my concerns - trying to allow one person to know all of me - when he hit me with a harsh interpretation. He told me I am "so worried about what's coming out of the kitchen that I am starving even with a plate full of food in front of me." In other words, I'm so focused on what is missing from my life, what I yearn for, that I overlook - am not grateful for - the fullness and blessing I do have in my life. That hurt.

It hurt because he said it and to know that is how he sees me - spoiled, ungrateful, selfish - is hard to digest. But more importantly it hurt because I believed it is how God sees me. Suddenly it seemed to make sense why He has denied me; He has given me so much and I still say "I want more, please." I thought I was grateful. I thought I was obedient. I thought I was faithful but suddenly it hit me "What if I'm not?" "What if I'm throwing His blessings back in His face by taking all He has given and asking for more?"

And just like that, I spiralled into an even deeper depression. One I couldn't climb out of. I realized as much as feeling physically and emotionally alone hurt, being spiritually alone was devastating. What if all I'd known, all I'd done, said, prayed had been fake? What if I was a fake? What if I had fooled myself that I am a grateful servant but really I'm not. What if...? I'd thought I'd done well with my mission/ministries and I only needed someone to support me to be able to continue on. But now I was feeling that I'd failed. I had been so focused on my desires, that I'd lost perspective of His will for me.

And I felt that this was my punishment. Being found by a man who fit the "desires of my heart" but not being the desire of his. Being given the opportunity to be a "mother" to a young lady but only for a few months. I was to feel what it was like but not be able to hold onto it. To touch it then have it taken away.

I was told to pray. That I was allowing the enemy to take hold and I needed to pray. I was even told the words to say to get me started. But when I got off the phone, turned out the lights and layed down - I had nothing. I could not concentrate. I could not find the words. I felt so far away from God and I didn't know how to get back. Eventually I fell asleep, my last thoughts of how I was going to force myself to carry on and finish what I'd started.

When I woke this morning, eyes burning, a song was playing in my head...

How can I forget what you've done for me?
How can I forget how you've set me free?
How can I forget how you brought me out?
How can I forget? No, never!

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