Divas Command: January 2006

Thursday, January 26, 2006

2 seconds off yo ass!

I've got no patience now

So sick of complacency now

I've got no patience now

So sick of complacency now

Sick of sick of sick of sick of you

Time has come to pay...

Know your enemy!

- Rage Against The Machine

~~~~~~~~~~

A friend of mine once explained that what most white people get twisted is which Black people to fear. They think that thugged out brotha or loud-mouth video vixen dressed sista is the one they should stay clear of. As long as they don't live, work, play near those Black people, then they will be safe. What they don't realize is us intelligent, educated, middle/upper class, professional Black people are 2 seconds off their asses too! They see the "ghetto" denizens as angry, openly hostile. But the rest of us got that stealth anger going on and at any second that shit is gonna pop off. Fo' real!

~~~~~~~~~~

Tonight was my pop off. I'm currently in a principal preparation program. It's a small, elitist program - we are only the third cohort to go through, so I can accurately say I am one of only 60 R****** fellows in the world. We are the shit! My cohort has 18 people in it and I am pleased to say that 5 of us are Black, 3 are Latino, and 1 is Latino/Japanese. Pretty damn diverse considering this is Denver.

~~~~~~~~~~

So anyway there is this one white chick (yeah, I called her chick cuz that's about as much sense she has - a baby chicken) who is so stuck up and stuck on herself. The program kicked off with a week-long retreat at the end of the summer in this remote mountain ranch. No phone, no cell phone, no internet access, and only 2 TV channels. (Yeah, we was roughin' it in cabins.) A week with 22 strangers (3 facilitators & 1 other participant who has since quit the program). Not the the opportunity most people would be looking forward to but hey, you make the best of it. The purpose of the retreat, as you can guess, was to help us bond.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone was doing their best to step out and do that. Everyone but white, skinny chic. From the word go (or the word whoa) she was standoff-ish, aloof, condescending, rude, evil, and just plain heifer-ish. So the rest of us just went on without her. My feeling about her almost from day one was she only deals with people who a) are on her "level", b) are above her "level", and c) have something she needs (i.e. the power to promote her ass). Therefore she quickly summed us all up and decided we couldn't do anything for her, were not of her "ilk" and dismissed us all. Especially the minorities. She spent the whole retreat lips pursed, legs crossed and sucking up to the facilitators. Whatever heifer!

~~~~~~~~~~

So now 5 months later, she's gotten a little better (I think because the facilitators told her she needed to play nice) but for the most part is still pulling her "I'm so much better than you all and you need to know that" routine. Fine. I don't want to be your friend. And I just keep my distance.

~~~~~~~~~~

Understand though that there is a difference between not liking you personally and respecting you as a person and/or professionally. I don't have to like you to work with you. And there are plenty of times in class when the facilitators will have us pair up, group up, to work together. Since I'm not usually sitting near her, we never have had to. Until tonight.

~~~~~~~~~~

Tonight I sat my stuff down then left the room. In the meantime she came into class and took the seat to my left. When I returned, I'll admit, I was like "Damn! I don't wanna sit by her." But I'm a professional, we only have to sit next to each other and if we do have to talk, I can do that without sneering or throwing up.

~~~~~~~~~~

Inevitability the moment comes tonight when the facilitators tell us to turn, pair up with a person and discuss ____________. Now normal, grown-ass people look to their left and their right and pair up as necessary. We are sitting such that she and I are numbers 3 and 4, respectfully, at the table. So naturally we should pair up.

~~~~~~~~~~

That heifer looks to her left (never looks right) and turns her back on me to start talking to the guy next to her. So now I'm sitting in the middle of the table with no one to talk to (people #5 & 6 logically start talking to each other; person #1 - who person #2 should have paired with - had gotten up to get some water but was on his way back). The guy she's talking to, looks over and says

C: "T, come on join us."

T: "No, that's okay, C. I got the message. I'm good."

SWC: "Oh, I'm sorry. Yes, join us." (dry tone of voice)

T: "Um, no. I got the message. You turned your back on me. Do what you do."

C: "Aaaa, no T join us."

T: "Naw, C - I'm good. Obviously SWC doesn't want anything to do with me."

At this point I'm getting up and walking outta the room to keep from slapping the ho.

C: "Come on T. You can join us."

T: "Naw, C - I'm straight."

~~~~~~~~~~

So the rest of the evening I sat next to the heifer and scared her ass. She sat wrapped so tight she was afraid to blink in case I might cut her ass. And I just stretched out and enjoyed the rest of my evening.

~~~~~~~~~~

The thing is... the thuggish, ruggish set may take your life; you end up dead. We intelligent, educated, professional types will take your life; make you wish you were dead.

8:53 PM | Permalink |

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Sunday Blessings

My God said
"In the midst of your storm"
He said

"I'm gonna have my way"

He said

"I am God

And above me there's no other"

He said

"No weapon

No weapon formed against me

shall ever prosper"

- Potter's House Mass Choir

As I drove up to my church today, I saw a man standing on the corner holding two enormous signs, each at least four feet tall and three wide. One sign had an enlarged photo of an aborted fetus and the other had some words on it denouncing the pro-choice stance. As I turned off the boulevard and onto the side street I saw a van parked on the street in front of the church (about 10 yards from the corner) and it also had large signs propped against it on all sides with more photos and wording.

Now regardless of my personal feelings about abortion and if I would ever have it done, I was offended. And I was even more offended that the people had decided to set up in front of my church as if we supported their actions (if not their sentiments). I was concerned that passersby on the boulevard (one of the busiest in Denver) would assume we, meaning my church, had placed the demonstrators there. It didn't matter that my church is one of the largest, if not the largest, and wealthiest Black churches in Denver, and that the demonstrators were white. I just didn't want anyone to think for a minute we had anything to do with that.

I also didn't want any woman or man who may have made the decision , for whatever reasons, to have an abortion and were coming to church to be discouraged. Church, in my opinion, should be a safe haven. A place where we all can come, admit we are all sinners in some way, and ask the Lord for forgiveness. Sin is sin - one is not worse than another. God don't like any of it. Period. The end. But he does forgive if we repent. Who are we (men and women) to tell someone their sin is worse and/or unforgivable than our own?

So I started my church service not in the best of moods. But today one of my "children" delivered the sermon. He is a young man I had in the youth ministry when I was a counselor/coordinator. When I met him he was in middle school. I worked with him in bible study, a Rites of Passage program, the choir, and other youth fellowship programs all through high school and into the beginning of college. At the age of 18 he was licensed as a minister and now at 21 (he just turned 21 in October) he's still in college, engaged to be married in April and preaching the Word of God. (And preaching it with force and conviction.) I am so proud of him.

As a teacher I've had the joy of seeing my first group of 8th graders graduate from high school. I've buried one student. Gone to court over and seen a couple of students go to prison. I've coached pee-wee games, middle school games. Attended high school games. I've been to recitals, baptisms, quinceneras, trial sermons, track meets, tennis matches, baseball games on and on. And even when I felt like screaming, giving up because they had given up on themselves, I remember the joy, the laughter and the smiles of seeing them go on. And I remember my charge - "Train up a child in the way he should go. And when he grows old, he will not depart from it." Today I saw my "son" speak the word of God and he blessed me. The student has become the teacher. Hallelujah!

5:23 PM | Permalink |

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Guest Appearance V

Until the end of time

I'll be there 4 u

U own my heart and my mind

I truly adore u

If God one day struck me blind

Your beauty I'd still see

Love is 2 weak 2 define

Just what u mean 2 me

- Prince

Nothing can introduce this lady better than her own words:

"I am a true southern lady. I'm a divorced mother of 3 boys. I love life and I love to smile and laugh. I have so many interests. Music is my passion, especially jazz, and writing poetry. I have a passion for life and a passion for love." Friends and visitors, I bring you Luscious Honey.

I Want To Be Loved

Will I ever hear those words whispered in my ear?
I live for this day.
Will I ever be in the arms of a strong embrace?
I just want to be held.
Will I ever be looked deep in my eyes and see a passion that burns?
For only I?
Loving so sweet I don’t ever want to share.
Will I ever be held deep into the night?
I’m so tired of sleeping alone.
Will I ever feel so precious and treasured?
I want to feel adoring kisses on my face.
Will I ever be the only one that he needs?
I want to be the reason [he smiles].
Will I ever be [his] all and all?
I want to be the one [he shares his] life with.
Will I ever be whole?
A piece of me is walking around somewhere in this world.
Will he ever come to me?
Will I ever?
Will I ever?
Will I ever hear I LOVE YOU?
I just want to be loved.

10:53 AM | Permalink |

Sunday, January 15, 2006

The News

I hope

Life treats you kind

And I hope

You have all you've dreamed of

And I wish you joy

And happiness

But above all this

I wish you love

- Whitney Houston

What's up people? The sabbatical is over. Hold up - is it still a sabbatical when you're working frantically and frenetically? Well, the blog sabbatical is over at least. What's been going on? Even though I've been absent from the pen, I have still been present with the page. I wanna say a few words to some of my blog buddies who I continued to peep while I was away.

Zed - Bruh, you sure know how to keep a sista smiling and flat laughing out loud.
Dee Dee - hurry up and get the PC fixed so we can IM. I need you my sista, bad! But keep praying for me.
Hassan - Hang tight. Keep praying and keep the faith. I know how it feels to want to fold up but we also know how good the Lord is and how faithful He is to us.
Nameliar - Gurl, just be you! I love your style. Keep it real and don't settle just because the d*** is good.
Organized Noise - I feel like I spend my weekends in NYC thanks to your spot. Also we think so many of the same thoughts, we may have been separated at birth. Oh, but wait, I'm much older than you. Well, maybe we were twins in a past life. And I love you to life, but you gotta take the title "Denver Broncos" from above my name on your blog. I am an OAKLAND RAIDER fan, mortal enemies of any bronco fans. I understand the premise, so you can list me under Denver Nuggets (my first choice), Colorado Avalanche, Colorado Rockies, Denver Mammoths, Colorado Rapids, or Denver Crush (all Denver professional teams) but, please, don't put my name with the broncos!
Ms. Powderpink - I found your blog over the Christmas break and got in on the "No Bastard Kids" episodes. Wrong ain't right no matter how many people do it. Not that that makes the parents bad people (and it sure isn't a reflection on the kids - not their fault in any way, shape, or form) but it don't make them right either.
Humanity Critic - Who probably won't ever see this but, wow! Prolific writer aren't you? And got something to say about e'rrthang and e'rrone. Keep it coming.
Teej - A calm spot to visit everyday for a little smile.

So life has been... well, life. Christmas break was well needed and well used. I spent the first week performing in concerts for the season. One at church and one with the Denver Symphony Orchestra. I had two CD's released over the holiday and have been knee deep in distributing and promoting them. One is my church choir's own CD while the other is a joint effort with the symphony (from last year's performance). The second week was for sleeping, organizing the house and talking to him.

Work has been rip-roaring fun, too! We've had overcrowded classes since about October. The district projected our enrollment at 525 this year, so at the end of last year we had to cut teachers. Guess what, folks?! We have 650 students in the building so far and more transferring e'rrday. Therefore we (read I) had to scramble and revise the master class schedule to create smaller classes this semester. The new schedule went into effect last Tuesday (principal delays, don't ask) and, surprisingly with only a few glitches. Unfortunately it's not over; we (read I) still have to resolve a few issues and actually get it online. My hope is it will be completely done within the next two weeks.

The district also has a new superintendent. He was actually hired over the summer, but now he's starting to spell out his initiatives. One thing I know, my position has been eliminated as of next school year. Now I've got to decide what types of jobs I want to apply for next year. I could go back to full time teaching or I could go full time administration. I know I don't want to do the half and half thing anymore. I just don't feel like I give my best to either side when I do both. So I've decided to take my principal's licensing test next month instead of waiting until April. If I pass then it's over. If I don't then I'll know what to expect in April. But that's the only decision I've made so far.

Meanwhile, my principal / leadership program is going well. I can't believe I'm half way through. I'm contemplating doing the extra classes to get a master's degree but then again, do I really need another one? But then again it's only 2-3 more classes so why not? But then again, is there such a thing as being over-educated? But then again I do want to get a master's of divinity, which would be 3 master's degrees... is that too much? I guess I don't have to decide right now, but it's a thought that's been crossing my mind.

There's more, much more, on the emotional front, but honestly, I'm still too close to it to share yet. Although I think I need to write it out. So look for future entries on multiple topics, not the least of which are him. Keep bloggin' buddies! Until we meet again - your place or mine.

8:34 PM | Permalink |

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Welcome to 2006! (Guest Appearance IV)

Lead me on girl if you must

Take my heart and my love

Take of me all that you must

And if there's a thing that you need

I'd give you the breath that I breathe

'N if ever you yearn for the love in me

Whenever Wherever Whatever

- Maxwell

It's was a blessed and wonderful holiday - I'll share more later. But for now I wanted to present another poet and his work. I recently met this man and I have been very impressed with his writing. I have several of his pieces and it was difficult to choose just one to spotlight. (As soon as I thought I had my pick, he'd post something else that was equally impressive.) I picked this piece because it speaks to my heart where I am right now. Words like these are what I desire and deserve to hear from the (future) man in my life. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Sweet.

Willingness

If I could ease your past then I would

If I could take every tear that you've cried, and throw them in the air,
and watch the clouds embrace them,
then I would.

If I could have met you years ago and made you the first Mrs. Sweet
I would, but since I can't what I will do is this.

I will take everyday that I am awake
just to say, "I love you"

Freeze frame every moment that we are together
so when tomorrow comes,
I can repeat everything that we said
and everything that we did
because every moment with you is worth reliving all over again

I will spend everyday trying to make you fall in love with me
trying to make you realize
everytime you look into my eyes,
you will see a man who cries
not just tears, but life
because each tear that falls allows my passion for you to grow

I will love you in spite of your past
I will love you because of your past
because your past
is just your past
and past me there is nothing
and whoever you have been with in the past
doesn’t matter
because who you are with now
is who you are supposed to be with now

What I will do is
Rub your head because you expect me to
Rub your feet because you want me to
Rub your back because you will me to
Rub your thighs because you desire me to
Rub your soul because you need me to
and believe me sweetheart,
all I want to do, is do what you want me to

I will invite you into every area of my life
allow you to see those spots that hurt the most
even though they were supposed to be covered for life
but I know before I can make you my wife
I must first make you my life
make you feel comfortable in my space
convince you to take your place
because next to God there is you

This is not a race that I want to run alone
winning is natural to me
it is what I am destined to do,
but winning is not winning at all
if I can't win with you
so will you run with me?

What I will do is make you promises
BUT DON'T BE AFRAID
Because with me promises made
are promises kept
and promises kept
are destinys fulfilled
and I promise to love you into your destiny
So pack your bags,
you are coming with me

What I will do is
Take one phrase and present it to you,
Will you marry me?
Take my two kids and offer them to you
Take three moments to wait for your answer
Take your fourth finger and put
Five diamonds on it
Take six days to tell you that I love you
Take seven days to show you how much I love you
Take eight minutes to make you cum
And take nine months to see what comes
Give you ten breaths to push what might come
Take eleven months go give you all that I have
And take twelve months to reflect on our anniversary

So you see
No one knows like I know what you mean to me
But this is my life and you are my life
And there are few things in this world that I know
But I do know this
For you
I will
Do
Anything

4:17 PM | Permalink |

Divas Command

Thursday, January 26, 2006

2 seconds off yo ass!

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Sunday Blessings

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Guest Appearance V

Sunday, January 15, 2006

The News

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Welcome to 2006! (Guest Appearance IV)

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