Dreaming in Color, Living in Black and White (T's version)
I have a recurring dream. It doesn't come often, maybe every six months or so but it's always the same. It really isn't even a full dream; more of a dream short. You know those quick 2-3 minute snippets you have just as you're coming out of REM sleep. The ones that don't fade as you reach full consciousness; the ones you can actually remember.
In this dream I am both present and omniscient. In this dream I'm always sleep. I both feel myself and see myself lying in bed on my side asleep. It's morning, the sunlight from outside is illuminating the bedroom. The bedroom is a nice size. Big enough for a queen size bed, dresser, chest, armoire, bedside tables, and a chaise and still there's plenty of room to dance around. There are French doors that lead to a balcony. It even has a fireplace. It could be spring, summer, winter or fall - all I know is the room is comfortable and I am under a down comforter.
As I feel and watch myself wake up I recognize I am happy. I'm not in a rush to get up for work, church or anything. I'm just leisurely waking up. Wherever I have to be this morning, I've got plenty of time to get there. I'm slowly becoming conscious and aware of my surroundings. I feel/see myself start to do that lazy stretch, you know the one, where your body and mind are well rested and ready to get active again. Just as I come out of my stretch I feel him lying behind me.
For a moment I seemed to have forgotten about him; surprised he is there. Then I remember, he's my husband. (But I don't ever see his face.) His right arm wraps around me as he presses against my back. I feel the warmth of his breath on my nape just before the touch of his lips. But before I can get excited about that I get my second surprise. His right hand is resting on my abdomen. My distended abdomen which moves beneath his touch. Then I remember that too; we're having a baby.
He snuggles against me pulling me closer to him. His hand absently moves across me, following the small kicks of his child. It's our morning routine. It's how we wake up. I feel/see myself smiling as I relax back into him and the pillow, content to lie there a little while longer. The omniscient me begins to pull back, leave the dream, as I realize not only am I happy, but I feel loved, cherished and fulfilled.
It feels so real, so right. Until I wake up. Then I realize it was only a dream and I am really alone in my bed (except for my purple teddybear). When I wake up fully the feelings leave and I find myself depressed for days.
Artwork by WAK
Girl I hate dreams like that...All they do is remind you of what you are missing.
I know that happy feeling you are talking about. It makes you feel like you are the light that is illuminating the room and then you wake up to darkness...womp, womp.
But is that a glimpse into the future...I hope so with all my heart I do.
Posted by NameLiar | 10:31 AM, October 17, 2005
Dreams are windows to the future you know? It's like God giving us a little glimpse of what's to come.
Now we just have to walk there in...Whoa I just realized Mills and I said the same thing...just in different ways...WTH?
Now that's sisterhood right there:)
Be Good Ma!
Posted by Didi Roby | 4:19 PM, October 17, 2005
The Creator has a master plan...
Are you ready?
Posted by The Brown Blogger | 9:00 PM, October 18, 2005
NameLiar - I pray so too. For anyone who dreams it - I pray so with all my heart.
Dee Dee - Yeah, you two are starting to scare me with how alike you can be sometimes.
Hassan - With His help yes, I am ready.
Posted by toneec42 | 11:33 PM, October 18, 2005